Thursday, September 17, 2015

A brief weather report from Portoviejo

Outside temperature: 93 degrees F
Inside temperature: 93 degrees F
Real feel: 800 gazillion degrees F

No rain showers in the foreseeable future; sweat showers daily.
Due to a lack of rain, there will be no mud.  That is the good news. 
Due to a lack of rain, everything you possess, including your person, will be covered in a fine (or not so fine) layer of grit.  That is the bad news.             
Turn on your fan, and blow it around so that it can infiltrate every conceivable crack and crevice in your living space.  (Also, if you do not turn on your fan, you will die.)

Survival tip #1:
Go somewhere.  Go anywhere.  Find an air-conditioned vehicle to get there.  When you reach said locale, tell the driver, you are in the wrong place and give another destination.  Repeat until the sweat running down your back is frozen. 

Survival tip #2:
Take a shower.  It will be cold.
**This tip is of no use if there is no water.  Like now.  Sorry ´bout that.

Survival tip #3:
Drink gallons of cold coke.  Or I guess water would also work. 

Survival tip #4:
When all else fails, just deal with it.

P.S. – This is the cool season.  J 


2 comments:

Eldon said...

Hahaha... Not at your discomfort, just your description. I think I will not tell you about the weather in Eureka.

Anita said...

We had temps in the 90's again over the weekend. After a hot summer, it had been so lovely to have nice cool fall weather. Then BOOM heatwave again, for some reason. I find cold weather so much easier to cope with and I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am that, while there is little a/c here, at least we only have hot weather about 3 months of the year! I don't envy you that heat!!! Sending you cool thought waves!