Driving in Ecuador 101

 In spite of the fact that I do not recommend driving in Ecuador, I feel duty-bound to offer a few tips that may be useful should you feel inclined to risk your life in such a way.

*Author's note - While some slight exaggerations do occur in this manual, all information is at least rooted in fact. 

*** Very Important***

All vehicles in Ecuador are manual shift. If you have never driven such a creature, Ecuador is NOT the place to learn. Hills, curves and traffic abound. 

Know your vehicle:

• Accelerator - While this feature is also present in the car you are accustomed to driving, you are likely not familiar with the Ecuadorian manner of usage. This is not a pedal that you press gently downward for smooth transition from stop to go or from slower to faster. Perhaps practicing with a sewing machine treadle would give you the right kind of experience for driving here.  Up, down, up, down...  This is the general idea.

• Brake - While you should definitely be aware of this part of your vehicle, you should use it only when absolutely necessary. After you have already hit the car in front of you, for instance. Perhaps you are in the habit of tapping your brake pedal for a somewhat less jarring stopping experience.  Here you do not tap; you grind.

Please note that you will need to move your foot from accelerator to brake and back again and back again and back again in rapid succession. 

• Horn - This is perhaps the single most important feature on your car. As such, it will be more thoroughly covered in other sections of this instruction manual.  Here I will say this: Whenever you drive, at least one of your hands should be ALWAYS ready to engage the horn. 

• Volume control - While there may be a range of options for volume control, there is only one volume. If the people in the next vehicle are not being forced to listen to your choice of music, you have not yet reached the correct volume. 

• Seat belts - If you are sitting in the front seat, you are required by law to buckle up whenever you see a police. If you are in the backseat, you are free to fly all over the car at will.  (Refer to instructions for accelerator and brake)

Rules of the road:

•  Lane markings - If these markings do exist, you should obey them. Unless that's not convenient for you. Example: Do not cross the solid double yellow lines in the middle of the road. Unless you want to. Got this one? It's actually pretty simple. 

• Traffic lights - Red light means stop. You should make absolutely certain the light is all the way red before you even consider touching the brake. Yellow light means press the accelerator all the way to (or possibly through) the floorboard. Green light means GO!!!!!! If you are not the first person waiting at the light, you should be immediately ready to engage your horn when the light gives a hint of nearly turning green. Everyone else in line will helpfully do the same. 

• Stop signs - Completely optional

• Round-abouts - If you don't have guts, you will sit at the entrance to these somewhat daunting traffic phenomena all day. The rule is, whoever gets their vehicle into the open space between other vehicles first has the right-of-way. You may need both feet for the pedals here, and at least one hand (two if you  can manage it) completely dedicated to the horn. 

• Speed limit - Occasionally along the road you will see what are known as speed limit signs. I could bore you with details like: The number posted represents kilometers per hour instead of miles per hour. However, what you actually need to know is that these signs really mean nothing. They are useful tools for teaching small children numbers. That is all.  

• Speed bumps - These massive bumps in the road are for the purpose of slowing vehicles down in an area that is either heavily populated or not heavily populated.  You should hit (read: slam) the brake just as your front tires are hitting the bump. Crawl over the bump at a speed that causes your passengers to think the car has actually died. Mash the accelerator as soon as you back tires are nearly off the bump. Practice makes perfect!

Traffic hazards:

•  Pedestrians - No mercy should be shown to these trespassers of the road. If you generously decide to spare one who is in the crosswalk, you should at the very least honk vigorously. One fun activity is to let your vehicle roll backward when a foolhardy pedestrian tries to cross the road behind you.  

•  Dogs - You will encounter many dogs in the road. Here are your options: accelerate, accelerate then brake rapidly, accelerate then swerve wildly. ALWAYS use your horn. 

•  Other vehicles - For some reason, you will almost never have the road to yourself. If possible, try to avoid close contact with these other vehicles. (By close contact, I mean actually touching.)  

• Buses - I will give buses their own separate bullet point because they are a category unto themselves.  The best thing to remember is that they are bigger than you.

 I hope that these few tips prove helpful should you choose to drive in Ecuador. I recommend insurance.